


The bro plan

by Fearless_leaderr



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, just jealous bros being bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 18:33:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7475334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fearless_leaderr/pseuds/Fearless_leaderr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Right! So my plan is this- we fake bang, or like, fake date because you're a southern gentleman and what not. Because dude, Jack looked sad as shit when he seen us all cuddled up on the steps and Ransom always looks at me like he's about to say something but doesn't know how. Really bro, what can go wrong?"</p><p>Bitty blinks for a few seconds, trying to process this idea with his alcohol fuelled brain.</p><p>"The entire haus thinks we're dating?" He supplies then, and Holster tuts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The bro plan

Never fall for a straight boy.

It's a piece of his own advice which he should of followed.

Never fall for a straight boy, because straight boys won't fall for gay boys like him.

They're at the annual haus kegster, and everything was going great right up until Shitty tried to set Jack up with some girl. 

("Honestly Jack, just go talk to her. She knows a fuck ton about hockey. And really, when was the last time you go laid? I've got to look out for my brothers needs!")

After a moment of obvious hesitation, Jack walks over to her. He doesn't come back, and so Bitty is left alone.

Well, not alone, per say. But after watching the two talk, he's in no mood for a party.

If he goes upstairs his absence will be quickly noted. Once you duck under the tape it's like an alarm goes off. 

("Bits, where are you going? Dude, party!")

So, taking that into consideration, he goes outside, sitting on the porch step and shivering pathetically at the cold.

He must be alone for all of five minutes before the door opens behind him and music spills out the cracks. He's about to protest when the door is slammed shut and he hears a ragged intake of breath, swiftly followed by: "Oh, Bits. Didn't see you there."

Holster hesitates behind him for a moment before sighing and coming to side beside him. 

He radiates warmth. Bitty leans in.

"What are y'all doing out here?" He asks carefully, noting the tension in the others shoulders.

There's another sigh and Holster shifts almost angrily, before dropping his arm around Bitty's shoulder.

"Rans has a girl in our room so.." He answers almost bitterly. The tension returns to his frame.

They lapse into a short silence whilst Bitty mulls over what that tone could possibly mean.

"What are you doing out here Bits? I thought you were with Jack?"

Despite himself, Bitty snorts, and it sounds every bit as bitter as Holster did.

"He was hitting it off pretty well with a girl so I thought I'd leave him to it. Then I really wasn't in the mood for the party anymore I guess."

Holster makes a noise which can only be described as agreement and pulls him closer. 

"Yeah, I...yeah."

They fall into another silence which is actually quite nice until loud moaning drifts down from an upper window. 

It's a girls he doesn't recognise, but Holster goes ramrod stiff and then the girls moans is joined in with a guys. And he definitely recognises Ransom when he hears him.

He turns to face Holster who's gone quite pale, and his face his screwed up in which can only be hurt and Oh. Oh Christ.

It makes sense now, why the other man is out here now and not inside partying. And that's not something he's prepared to deal with when one half of the problem is having really loud sex above their heads. 

Then, to make things infinitely more worse, Jack then opens the door, the girl clinging to his arm and giggling behind him. He freezes when he seems them, huddled together, and an unreadable look fixes onto his face. It's gone as soon as it appears however and his normal frown replaces it. 

"Sorry, didn't know anyone was out here!" The girl giggles, pulling Jack by the elbow. The captains eyes linger on them for another moment miserably before he disappears back into the haus with the giggling blonde. Eric wants to hate her but doesn't have it in his heart to.

When he turns back from the door Holster is looking at him in sympathy and yup, they need to have a conversation somewhere quiet while they sober up.

"Do you want to go see if the coffee shop is still open?" He offers, and the other looks so viciously grateful that he almost hugs him.

"Chyeah," Holster answers instantly, springing up and pulling Bitty to his feet. The tension in his shoulders sizzles out when the haus is out of view and Bitty belatedly realised the tension in his own leaks out too.

They walk side by side to Annie's, only coming across a few stragglers from other parties. After all, it is a Saturday night.

The café is literally empty when they arrive, with half the seats stacked up on the tables for cleaning. The barista looks tired, but reassures them that they're not closed yet and as long as they don't make a mess (vomit) they'll be fine.

They take a seat by the window, sipping their coffees. Holster looks slightly wired now, tapping his fingers against the table top with a tap tap tap that makes his eye twitch.

"So, Bits," the other begins, leaning in closer as if he's about to share a secret. "I have a proposition for you." 

Bitty is majorly concerned. "Oh?"

He watched Holster lean back then, slouching slightly on his seat and pushing up his glasses.

"My proposition is this; and feel free to say no. But please don't, because I actually think this can work, bro. Like honestly, Bits, it's a solid plan. It's the plan of all plans, it's the bro plan! It's.."

"...Holster."

"Right! So my plan is this- we fake bang, or like, fake date because you're a southern gentleman and what not. Because dude, Jack looked sad as shit when he seen us all cuddled up on the steps and Ransom always looks at me like he's about to say something but doesn't know how. Really bro, what can go wrong?"

Bitty blinks for a few seconds, trying to process this idea with his alcohol fuelled brain.

"The entire haus thinks we're dating?" He supplies then, and Holster tuts.

"Ah, that doesn't matter bro. We try our bro plan and see if it works. If it doesn't then we 'decide' to just be friends and then we can like, meet every Thursday night and cry over unrequited love and watch Gilmore Girls."

Bitty blinks again. There's a hundred reasons why this is a bad idea, but there's beer and tub juice settling warmly in his stomach and Jack's sad look seared into his brain from the porch, so he finds himself nodding despite himself.

"Alright. When do we begin?"

\---

He doesn't know how long he's spend  
looking out the window now. Jack's hair is windswept and his cheeks are pink and he's laughing at something Ransom had said and Christ, his pie is burning.

Abashedly he scurries away from the view outside and throws the oven door forcefully open, pulling out the dish just in time. The pie is more golden brown than he usually prefers, but it will do.

Sometime between him dusting off his hands and apologising to his beloved oven for his rough man handling of her, Holster walks into the room.

The D-man automatically makes his way over to the window, where he assumes Bitty's previous position. Bitty doesn't even have to look to know is gaze his following Ransom.

"Afternoon, Holster" he greets, walking over to nudge the others thigh with his hip before going back to his mixing bowl.

The taller man hums, seemingly tearing his gaze away from the two outside so he can look down. "Hey bits."

He then hesitates for a moment before pulling away from the window altogether, coming over to the counter to watch Bitty make some cherry filling.

They remain like that, in comfortable silence until they here the front door creak.

He begins to turn towards it when suddenly he's been lifted up and onto the counter.

He snaps his gaze to Holster, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment despite himself. 

"Now? I'm making a pie!" He hisses, gripping into the others arms to steady himself. 

Footsteps encroach and Holster looks panicked for a second before he straightens his shoulders and huffs a determined breath.

"Play along, bits," he whispers lowly, giving him a reassuring grin before leaning forward and pressing their lips together.

The kiss is quick and actually quite chaste- neither of their hearts are truly in it. But holster makes a show of making loud, wet noises and his own squeals of distress can probably be passed off as arousal.

The footsteps draw closer and closer, and they both hunch over in nerves, Holster leaning In Between his legs so their faces are both blocked off from view, and then:

"..Honestly Jack, and then I told him th- Ummm?"

They both pull back then, and Holster steps back, turning to face them. The four of them blink at each other in surprise, and Bitty's mortification doesn't even need to feigned.

"Oh, hey y'all" he greets lamely, wincing at his own voice. It sounds low and drawled out, and he knows it's because he's embarrassed but they don't.

They think he's turned on. By holster. In his kitchen. God, why did he ever agree to this?

"Yeah, uh, sup bro," Holtser adds, giving a little wave that is not recuperated. 

Jacks got that emotionless mask fixed back on his face. And Ransom looks genuinely upset, looking back and forth between them both like the axis of the world has shifted.

There's a tense silence where Bitty wants to blurt that it's all a prank, but then Holsters holding his hand and Jacks gaze drifts down to that- a frown forming on his face- then immediately back up again.

Jack's gaze isn't the only one that dips. Ransom also looks at their joined hands, his mouth gaping slightly.

"So, uh, when did this,uh..happen?" The D-man then asks, his lips quivering slightly. It's a blink and you miss it movement, but Bitty feels Holster hold his breath beside him.

"We um..the kegster?" Bitty improvises, and Jack makes a small surprised noise.

"Oh. When you were..the porch?" He asks, and holster nods quickly beside him.

"Chyeah, bro. We were going to tell you but.."

Jack interrupts him. "It's fine, it's none of our business anyway."

He sounds tense and his expression can only be described as stung.

"I'm going for a shower," he then adds, turning on his heels and disappearing down the hall.

Bitty's stomach drops and Holster squeezes his hand reassuringly, and they both turn back to Ransom.

Since Jack's exit the other defence man's expression has become closed off and he shifts, rubbing the back of his head.

"Well, I've got a bio test in a few days so I'm gonna go study. So, uh, yeah- see you Bitty. Holtz."

And then he's gone as well and the kitchen is empty again. 

They both deflate instantly after that and Holster drops his hand, resting his forehead against the counter and groaning. 

"Fuck, why the fuck was that so hard? They both looked so.."

"..upset?"

"Chyeah. Last time Rans looked at me like that was people I threw out his ugly pink shorts."

Despite himself, Eric titters.

"Your threw out his salmon shorts?"

Holster glowers. "They're not salmon shorts, they're fucking pink. He looks like a preppy fuck. They're ugly, bro."

There's a silence where they both stare at each other before devolving into laughter.

"Oh my, what have we gotten ourselves into, hm?"

Holster shrugs and runs a hand through his hair. 

"Seemed like a better idea when I was pissed."

Bitty sighs. "Well, we've committed now! They seen us."

There's another moments of silence where they both look at each other and Holster claps his hands together, a mischievous smirk working its way onto his face.

"I think it's time to draft another into the bro plan, bro."

"Oh dear god."

**Author's Note:**

> http://tronnies-art-blog.tumblr.com/post/142323836831/play-along-bits-ok-so-ive-had-this-idea-for#
> 
> Honestly this was supposed to be a one shot based on the amazing art by Tronnie but it's spiralling now. 
> 
> Next up, Shitty and Lardo are drafted into the bro plan.


End file.
